Good Gourd!

The Ocean State confuses residents and visitors alike with similar names for places widely separated. Don’t even start with roads and streets with identical uncommon names in cities or towns that don’t share a border, as opposed to Central, Church, Main, Maple, Oak, Park you’d find anywhere. Consider for examples: Cranston Street in both Cranston and Woonsocket, Laurel Hill Avenue in both Pascoag and Providence, Tidewater Drives or Streets in 5 communities from Pawtucket to South Kingstown. By old road customs highways, not modern interstates, carry names of destinations or origins, such as Hartford Avenue, New London Turnpike, Plainfield Pike, and Putnam Pike, cities and towns in neighboring Connecticut, or Taunton Avenue and West Wrentham Road toward Massachusetts. Makes sense to direct traffic efficiently. However, these hamlets, places and villages push reasonable limits by seemingly mimicking one other as if alternate aliases, bizarre buddies, dizzy dopplegangers.

Allendale (North Providence) vs. Allen Harbor and Allenton (North Kingstown) vs. Allins Cove (Barrington); there are also Alan Avenue (Cumberland, Narragansett, Portsmouth), Alan Drive (Bristol), Alan Street (Tiverton), Allan Court (Newport), Allan Drive (Lincoln), Allen Avenue (Cranston, East Providence, North Providence, Warwick), Allens Avenue (Providence), and Allen Street (Riverside) not connected to places. This alone is remarkably strange, but read on...
Alton (Richmond) vs. Ashton (Lincoln)
Annaquatucket (North Kingstown) vs. Annawomscutt (Barrington)
Apponaug (Warwick) vs. Quonochontaug (Charlestown)
Aquidneck (Island) vs. Quidnick (Coventry)
Arlington (Cranston) vs. Darlington (Pawtucket)
Ashaway (Hopkington) vs. Ashton (Lincoln)
Avondale (Westerly) vs. Adamsdale (Cumberland) vs. Adamsville (Little Compton)
Barberville (Hopkinton) vs. Burrillville
Blackrock (Coventry) vs. Blackstone vs. Greystone (North Providence) - a shade different?
Burr Hill (Warren) vs. Burdickville (Hopkinton) vs. Burrillville
Canonchet (Hopkinton) vs. Chepacet (Glocester)
Canonchet Farm (Narragansett) vs. Canonchet (Hopkinton)
Centerdale (North Providence) vs. Centerville (West Warwick)
Charlestown vs. Charles (Providence)
Clayville (Scituate) vs. Dayville (nearby Connecticut) vs. Davisville (North Kingstown)
Crompton (Warwick) vs. Little Compton
Dunn’s Corner (Westerly), Dunn Park (Woonsocket)
Esmond (North Providence) vs. Richmond
Fairbanks (Coventry) vs. Fairlawn (Pawtucket)
Foster Center being 3.3 miles southeast of North Foster and 4 miles southwest of South Foster; take your cartography and geometry lessons in Glocester to be safe.
Georgiaville (Smithfield) vs. Graniteville (Burrillville) vs. Graniteville (Johnston)
Glendale (Burrillville) vs. Glen Meadow (Warwick) vs. Glen Park (Portsmouth)
Gordon Street (Cranston), Gordon Avenue (Providence), Gordon Avenue (Warwick), Gorton Pond Warwick
Great Island vs. Great Swamp
Greene (Coventry) vs. Green’s End vs. Greenville (Smithfield)
Harris (formerly Harrisville, Coventry) vs. Harrisville (Burrillville)
Hillsdale (Richmond) vs. Hillsgrove (Warwick)

Hillsdale vs. Mountaindale; one-upsmanship?
Hope (Scituate) vs. Hope Valley (Richmond)
Hopkins Hollow (Coventry) vs. Hopkinton
Indian Lake (South Kingstown) vs. India Point (Providence)
Jackson (Coventry) vs. Johnston vs. Jamestown
Manville (Lincoln) vs. Melville (Middletown)
Maryville vs. Mapleville
Mapleville vs. Maple Valley
Meshanticut (Cranston) vs. Moon's Cut vs. Metacomet (East Providence)

Mount Hope (Bristol) vs. Mount Hope (Providence); Hope is the state motto.
North Kingstown vs. West Kingston (South Kingstown) with neither an East Kingston nor North Kingston
Oakland vs. Oaklawn vs. Oak Valley
Oaklawn vs. Woodlawn; okay, enough with the oaks and their copper/russet leaves denoting end of autumn and start of winter.
Park Square (Cranston) vs. Park Square (East Providence)
Paucatuck (Westerly) vs. Pawtucket vs. Pawtuxet (Cranston)
River Point (West Warwick) vs. Riverside (East Providence) vs. Riverview (Warwick)
Sandy Point Beach (Warwick) vs. Sandy Point Beach (Portsmouth)
Sayles Hill (North Smithfield) vs. Saylesville (Lincoln) vs. Slatersville (Burrillville)
Slater Park (Pawtucket) vs. Slatersville (Burrillville)
Saundersville (Scituate) vs. Saunderstown (North Kingstown)
Slate Hill Park (Cranston) vs. Slater Park (Pawtucket)
Smithfield vs. Smith Hill (Providence) vs. Smithville (Scituate)
South County with no North County
Tucker Hollow (North Scituate) vs. Tug Hollow (Richmond)
Valley Falls (Cumberland) vs. Valley (Providence)
Washington Park (Providence) vs. Washington (Coventry)
Warren vs. Warwick
Warren's Point Beach (Warren) vs. Warren Town Beach (Little Compton)
Warwick’s Buttonwood, Edgewood (Cranston, but bordering), Greenwood, Lakewood, and Norwood - except Buttonwood, none especially wooded, thought there’s a Wood Lake Park in Johnston.
Woodlawn (Pawtucket) vs. Woodville (North Providence) vs. Woodville (Richmond)
Woody Hill (Exeter) vs. Woody Hill (Westerly)

Sunflowers in Saunderstown

Coincidence could account for some repetition, or envy, or laziness, or terrain (hills, lakes, woods). You’d think residents would want unique names to avoid having mail or visitors misdirected. Post office mostly goes by zip code precisely because of this. Kudos to forebears for using Native American names so often, thus preserving what locales were called for millennia. Narragansett literally means Narrow River, town’s chief topographical feature. Ninigret, Pettaquamscutt, Ponagansett, Pottowomut, Quidnessett, Saugatucket and Westconnnaugh roll delightfully over your tongue, and to those to whom they hold meaning a hearth and hovel in which to huddle. Majority of names, however, hark back in time to important statesmen or port towns in Britain from which first settlers embarked.

Tourists visit state's coastal hamlets and villages for general ambiance and quaint architecture. They weigh in record gourds (490 pounds) and pumpkins in Warren. Rhode Island was really about mills along its 13 steady rivers churning wheels of productivity before water power was replaced by electricity. Mill villages still have businesses and residences without charming presences. You're more likely to encounter entrepreneurial gnomes and nursing homes than family domiciles and specialty shop miles. If you make an effort to follow rivers and see, you’ll get a lesson in history.

It’s well known that residents ignore official labels, prefer to give directions in terms of landmarks that used to exist. “Hang a left where Almacs used to be,” stupidly assumes you once knew of such a supermarket. Why even ask for directions? State is so small, you can bumble around a bit and still find it. Well, maybe not Antushantuck Neck Necropolis on Pocasset River where many end up anyway.

A disturbed mind finds everything disturbing; why bring up anything that demands thinking? All these places were once collectively called Providence Plantations; these days they want to remove that phrase from state's name (longest in America) because of some false associations to southern farms with captive labor. Rhode Island was the first state in nation to abolish slavery, but nobody remembers early innovation. 

Boomers in baseball caps only offer a lifetime of experiences during wild times. Somehow they managed to keep vicious megalomaniacs with shiny new nuclear weapons from destroying all life on planet. They deserve a bit of credit. Some issues do bear mentioning after all. In an election year like none since nation began, petty concerns of political divide can be taken in stride.

"Pendemic" Polemic

Babies are adorable, no? So what happens meanwhile to produce so many homely and misshapen adults? Diet fads, expensive cosmetics, gyms visits, and plastic surgery wouldn't ferry vast majority into vicinity of beauty with decent skin, narrow waist, nice hair, and proportionate figure. Although clothing creates a desirable illusion, are people allowing themselves look grotesque on purpose? Looking like a movie star just invites unwanted attention. Plus it's hard to maintain for too little gain. Anyway, bar to hurdle is too low to bother among obese subhuman crews in ragged wear with greasy hair and gross tattoos. And, as abundantly apparent, every pinch of exterior surface can also be pierced, though good looks aren’t necessary to be effective or superior, so you shouldn't care.

Toned up spandex cyclists tempt wrong types. Yet bicycling has become the exercise of choice among furloughed workers who can’t afford to drive, don’t own home gyms, and rather distance themselves from public spaces and subways. Former “governator” and self quarantined septuagenarian Arnold Schwarzenegger endorses cycling wholeheartedly. Safe distance for bicyclists is 30 feet, since rolling at speed can inadvertently intercept a cough, sneeze or talk faster than those who walk. Epidemiologists advise covering eyes, mouth and nose. Double thick cloth masks and m-frame safety glasses join gloves and helmets as essential cycling apparel.

Blog neglect “pendemic” parallels outbreak of pandemic, but not because author was sick. During a disease outbreak dare one delve into local detours? COVID-19-SARS did cause worst recession on record in England, but has also had a devastating effect on Rhode Island in particular among other American states. Ocean State economy already weak, work closures resulted in massive joblessness, worse than The Great Depression 90 years ago, which lasted for a decade with a peak of 25% unemployment. Policy miscalculations let most jobs revolve around badly hit government, small businesses, and service industries. Yet pandemic hardly affected banking, construction, home repair, insurance, laboratory, landscaping, manufacturing, mining, pharmaceuticals manufacture, road maintenance, and such crucial sectors as supermarket sales, though elective doctor and hospital visits were severely curtailed, so many medical layoffs occurred, while manufacturers of durable goods all but suspended operations. Consequently, availability and choice of major appliances has declined while prices have skyrocketed. Epidemics display total contempt for profit motives, in fact, target greedy along with aged, careless, homeless, poor, stupid, and those who think threat isn't real. Pundits recommend saving for a rainy day and staying home for good reasons.

Never a time out, less traffic offered RIDOT an opportunity to repave highways and secondaries, and restore bridge underpinnings. When departments of transportation repave streets they restripe them, as well. Federal and state laws mandate equal accommodations for all users; roads must allow for bicycling, walking and wheelchair use. To remove road shoulders or skip curb reliefs is to violate ADA and CFRs. When infection threatens, not taking public transportation and relying on self could save your life.

League of American Bicyclists rates cities through their Bicycle Friendly America program, but among Little Rhody's cities only Newport earned any mention, third class, based on biased reporting by advocates there. Providence, which lately has had more bike-centric boosts, was entirely snubbed. At least People for Bikes recognized state’s “speed of infrastructure improvement” over last few years, which still only garnered a 2.9 overall rating. With a post-contagion outlook, planners and street repainters might overlook guidelines already in the book.

Self improvement, street amendment and survival investment are interdependent. To do nothing is to die. Body needs to exercise though it loves rest, resists exertion, and screams, “No more reps!” Roads made more dangerous by limiting cycling and stealing shoulders for unnecessary lanes endanger lives and scare away self propellers. People balk at spending thousands of dollars on a bike when they think they can’t safely ride them. Yet state does have 100 miles of dedicated bike paths, more miles in signed neighborhood routes, and thousands of road miles recommended by RIDOT and vetted by bicyclists. Click here for 2020 construction status, but note no new projects are underway except for two bridges in Western Coventry. Wouldn't be a big deal to turn over swaths of soil alongside bikeways so cyclists passing by could sow wildflower seeds. Goal should be to link all infrastructure with shared roads and wide shoulders. Issues arise with what’s best to do, who has jurisdiction - federal, private, state or town - and who must pay. Healthcare costs taxpayers trillions annually, an enormous expense worth reducing. Cardiovascular and cancerous ills, both preventable via bicycles, still cost and kill more than infectious diseases ever will.

All road funding comes from a combination of sources, mainly government grants matched by local tax revenue. Delays in updating streets for all users impacts funding. Feds may deny or divide grants, or impose fines that residents have to pay. You might be outraged to know officials not only force you to abide outdoor restrictions but it comes at your own expense. Certain parties lobby leaders for these policies because it hastens the transfer of money from you to them. Weren’t family losses, economic recession, pandemic protocols, and supreme sacrifices already too much to bear without pure greed forcing bureaucratic decisions in favor of autocratic ambitions? Pawns greatly outnumber kings and resent being treating as toys or trophies. 

Don’t toss the baby out with the bathwater come election time. Support any politician no matter how repulsive who arranges progressive changes for a healthy alternative. Meanwhile, go forth safely and sensibly for fresh air and sunshine in style. 

Bread Lines

Once upon a time, Rhode Islanders could barely avoid delicious aromas of baking bread. You’d climb viaduct from Allens Avenue and inhale a heartwarming waft of Sunbeam from an adjacent mill. These day you must abide acrid exhaust, rotting debris, and skunk spray that Waterfires mask in burnt creasote. Across Point Street Bridge, then Henderson into Rumford, you’d pass Mrs. Kavanaugh’s English Muffins. Boulangerie and panetterie dotted Johnston and Providence neighborhoods: Atwell’s Avenue, Carpenter Street, Cranston Street, East Side, Killingly Street, North Main, Olneyville, and Washington Park. Nobody misses, or notices, ones long gone. Rainbow on Reservoir in Cranston is state’s last Jewish bakery. Get a Proustian remembrance of things past for checkerboard cake from Korb’s and danish from Bob Carol’s on Pontiac.

Bread was once the very staff of life and still underpines nutrition pyramid, though carbohydrate rich diets lead directly to diabetes, heart disease, and obesity. People have shifted to fruits, seeds, sources of protein, whole grains, and vegetables. Plates of pasta may be popular, but tacos full of beans and greens probably outnumber them. Inability to adapt menu may account for TGI Friday’s demise, another failed local restaurant to add to this list of over 500. Expect more with fears of Chinese or Italian foodstuffs. Bats and dogs, filth and infection, disrupt attraction and digestion.

Rapid evolution and technological change make Truth a victim. Pandemics, terrorists and wolves at their door, nobody has time enough to consider carefully and reason thoroughly, only react fearfully according to how they’ve been conditioned. Laughably, official channels warn of misleading info, when for decades they’ve been the biggest lie factory around. You can only choose to be cannon fodder, sacrificial pawn, servile minion, or surplus victim. Identified an informational crisis in What Do YOU Know!? on page 34 of Labann Says (2013). Bloggers account for only remaining independent journalists who report from direct experience without bias, though most still color observations with opinions. Indeed, prejudiced reporting will always be more popular than unvarnished objectivity. Seems disjointed facts require a roadmap to connect the dots, though oversimplifying veers far from tangled reality.

Impressionist paintings or literary masterpieces shouldn’t be the only place you can still find beauty. It should be evident everywhere anyone makes efforts necessary. Yet you may roll down bike paths flanked by bulldozed mounds of dirt, swampy creeks, and tangles of brambles and wonder, “Why not forests, gardens or lawns?” Overgrown corner lots used to feature exceptional gardens, but planting and weeding went out of style a century ago. Not uncommon now to find properties strewn with stuff that usually fills dumps. Staying isolated at home this Spring seems ineviatble, so who knows? Notice more people than usual raking yards and working properties.

Deficiencies in ambience directly relate to labor costs and lifestyle choices. Time is too valuable to fritter away at $10.50 minimum/hour. Last crew through charged nearly a grand for three hours of tree limb removal. Smartphone chatter, spectator sports, and stupid movies occupy intervals not otherwise spent earning and sleeping. Home baking and prudent yardening, lowest of priorities since housing standards are no longer enforced and Seven Stars was voted among nation’s best bread makers, could make a comeback. Small businesses are closed, and supermarkets have cut back on freshly baked local products. Retail visits reveal many empty shelves.

Home ownership, cornerstone of the American Dream, hardly exists anymore, since banks hold mortgages and town assess taxes that amount to rebuying over and over. Municipalities elsewhere terminate house taxes after 100 years, but not here. In addition to nation’s average personal indebtedness of $150,000, unsecured federal, local and state debt means every citizen - child, man and woman - owes at least $300,000 in total. Who can afford to buy bulbs, seeds or shrubs? But avoiding lines, dodging contagion, and staying sheltered leave hours to bake bread and trim verge. Any government relief only goes to paying back banks and state, Just another bigwig bailout, obligations that come before buying food and paying bills, since they’d make you homeless, take away your residence. Street beggars get no furloughs.

Always say that survival is paramount, and ways to die can be prioritized. In America over last hundred years, cardiovascular diseases killed more than any other cause, a million annually, with cancers second, hundreds of thousands affected. Car collisions, at around 40,000 per year, come in third, more drivers and passengers than soldiers in wars over the bloodiest century in history. Infections and gun violence are about equal, ~15,000/year. All are preventable, although few measures are taken to mitigate. Commuting by car to jobs isn’t necessary: can self propel to some, telecommute for many, and use public transportation for others. Home delivery has hugely resurged lately, though porch piracy spread to follow suit.

Worldwide today, infectious diseases, especially malaria, remain a leading killer. Pharma companies shy away from vaccines, because they can make billions treating allergies and annoyances where their drugs only need to be marginally effective. A vaccine actually has to prevent infections. Antibiotics can create incurable strains and spread illnesses. Lawsuits might result in billion dollar settlements. Diseases are directly related to sanitation. Viruses cannot live outside a host, either animals, bacteria, insects or people. So minimizing contact with bacteria is key, whether in airborne droplets, bug bites, or on surfaces. Humidity harbors but rainfall flushes bacteria. High internal temperatures, such as during aerobic exercise or fever, is a mechanism that body uses to kill infections. This new SARS virus is highly contagious, takes up to two weeks to incubate, tough to diagnose without specific kits, as many symptoms are like ordinary cold and flu, so may already be more widespread than reports say, some 300,000 identified cases. Supposedly, new incidents in China are falling, though America and Europe is currently being hit hard. So, avoid groups, disinfect diligently, and move under own power.

What about food? You must shop or starve. Since virus was traced back to food, can imported foods infect people? Will virus affect farming industry so drastically there will be shortages? Many reacted with stockpiling nonperishable items, though some bought retail only to gouge illegally during internet sales. Over last 5 centuries, over a billion people died of starvation for various reasons: antiscientific sentiments, bad policies, financial ruin, ignorant practices, unanticipated blight, and world wars. Shades of depressions bread lines still haunt memories. What jobs will go away forever after each organization is arranged around contagion? In this Decennial Census year, who’d want to open door to a visiting enumerator? Amidst an extinction vortex event with decreased genetic variance from outbreeding depression, can you expect global population to stall at 8 billion? Yet you’ve already dealt with HAV (Hepatitis) and HIV (AIDS), both far more prevalent, with fewer precautions. As usual, priorities are misplaced because news media fans fears for responses that favor the wealthy. Instead of genuine concern, it’s, “Don’t get sick, because you might make me too sick to profit and stockpile.”