Where Do You Stand?

Rhode Islanders abide, even enjoy, fascinatingly unique geographical names scattered across their tiny state, many bastardized from what they were once called by indigenous peoples: Narragansetts (Pawtuxet South to Point Judith), Niantics (Point Judith to Weekapaug), Nipmucs (Pawtucket toward northwest and Weekapaug westward into CT), Pequots (western RI border into CT), Sakonnets (Little Compton), Sauks ('yellow mud" people of Quonochontaug), Toskeyonke ("bridge/ford" people along shores of Pocasset River), Wampanoags (East Bay to Cape Cod), and whoever time seems to have so forgotten you can't find any mention on internet.

Traditionally costumed Narragansett woman attending a recent South County festival  (click on pictures to enlarge)

Indigenous place names were based on natural, physical, topological, and useful criteria observed in their annual migrations inland in summer with staple corn grown in protected fields, then to shore in winter with shellfish being an important but perishable part of diet protected from spoilage by cold. Shell nacre was worked into decorative beads, wampum, valued for trade.

In response to anemic articles one encounters, below are listed all of the most persistent and recognizable examples, each with its current name, how now pronounced, location in state, and "what it signified". Click link for enhanced details, lost labels, and variable spellings from Dr. Francis Joseph O'Brien, Jr. of Rhode Island USGenWeb Project.

Acoaxet [ah COKE sit] over Little Compton border in Wesport “at a fishing promontory beside fields and small pines”

Agawan [AG ah wahn] in East Providence, a "low place overflowed by water" where they beached canoes

Annaquatucket [an nah kwah TUCK it] in North Kingstown south of Wickford “at the end of a river”

Annawomscutt [an nah WOMS cut] Creek in Barrington “at the rock summit” or “ruler’s hill”

Apponaug [AP poh nog] village in Warwick “where he roasts oysters (shellfish)”

Aquidneck [uh KWID neck] including Middletown, Newport and Portsmouth, “a place on an island”

Antushantuck [AN tush AN tuck] Neck in Cranston, “a well forested place near oxbow in river”, now a necropolis with St. Anne’s and Pocasset Cemeteries

Ashaway [ASH ah way] in Hopkington, “land in the middle (between)”

Canonchet [cuh NON chet] in Narraganset, “place he (Canonicus) oversees/protects/rules”

Chepacet [cha PACH it] hamlet in Glocester, from an anecdote about a lost “devil’s purse”

Chepiwanoxet [chep eh WAN ox it] Island in East Greenwich, “a small separate place” possibly harboring spirits of the departed

Chibacoweda [chee bah co WEE dah] or Prudence Island, a “small place separated by a passage”

Chipuxet [chee PUCKS it] in South Kingstown, at “turning place where the stream divides”

Chisawannock [chee sah WAHN nock] Island in Bristol, “a principle fishing place”

Chopmist [CHOP mist] Hill in Scituate, from Chapomeset, still a “crossroads”

Cocumcussoc [caw cawms KWIS sick] Brook, now Stony Brook, in North Kingstown, "where there are small sharpening stones”; once an early 17th Century trading post, then a slave plantation, the likes of James Varnum and Nathaniel Greene turned Smith's Castle into a revolutionary camp within a hidden cove. Name persists as an undeveloped state park.

Conanicut [ko NAN eh kut] Island, now Jamestown, named for Narraganset Sachem Canonicus

Conimicut [kon NIM i cut] Point and village in Warwick, named for Canonicus’ granddaughter Quinimikit

Cooneymus [KOO neh mis] Cove on Block Island, a “long gravelly reef”

Cowesett [koh WEE set] in West Warwick, a “groves of pines"

Escoheag [ES koh hog] in West Greenwich, “at head of three rivers”

Hummocks [HUM mocks] in Portsmouth, an “enclosed area where fishing occurs”

Kickemuit [kick eh MEW it] in Warren, “where there’s a large spring”

Louisquissett [loo is KWIS set] or Loquassuck [lo KWAS sick] in Smithfield near lime quarries “where they meet” and suspect loquaciously discuss

Mashapaug [MASH ah pog] in Providence, a “large pond”

Massasoit [mass ah SOY it] Spring in East Providence, named for Wampanoag Sachem Wasamegin, who settlers called Massasoit, shown below encountering sanctimonious English Puritans

Matunuck [muh TOON nick] in Charlestown, an “observation hill”

Meshanticut [meh SHAN ti cut] Pond in Cranston, which still has “large trees beside brook”

Metacomet [met ah KOM et] Brook in East Providence “related to Massasoit’s clan”; Metacom, aka King Philip

Miantonomi [MY an toh NOH mee] Hill, etc. on Aquidneck, named for Sachem “who wages war”

Misquamicut [mis KWAHM eh cut] Beach in Westerly, “where salmon are”

Moosup [MOO sup] River in Foster, named for Narraganset sachem Maussup “Little Bird”, aka Pessicus

Moshassuck [moh SHASH uck] River in Providence, “a great marshy meadow” where they hunted moose

Nanaquaket [na na QUACK ut] Cove or Point in Tiverton, “where swamp dries up”

Napatree [NAP ah tree] Point in Westerly, once a "treed neck", but now a sand dune after past hurricanes 

Narragansett [neh ruh GAN set] Bay, People, and Town “where the river narrows”; and down Ocean Drive to end of Hazard Avenue there is Indian Rock, as depicted by A.T. Bricher, oil on canvas (1871). Indian is what settlers called natives because they thought their exploration landed them in Asia, unaware there was an intervening Western Hemisphere with two whole continents, homes to several more advanced civilizations than theirs.

Natick [NAY tick] in West Warwick, “home uphill”

Nausauket [NAW saw kit] in Warwick, “between outlets” to Greenwich Bay

Nayatt [NIGH at] in Barrington “at the point”

Neutaconkanut [NEW tah KON kuh nut] Hill in Providence “at the scant boundary” where land treaty negotiated with Roger Williams originally ended

Niantic [nigh AN tic] Avenue in Providence and Point Judith in Narraganset, a “point of land at the tidal estuary”

Ninigret [NIN eh gret] Park in Charlestown, named for a Niantic sachem

Nooseneck [NOOSE neck] Hill in West Greenwich, where there’s a “beaver pond”

Occupessuatuxet [OX cue pess uh ah TUCKS it] in Warwick “at a small cove on tidewater”, whence Hoxie

Papasquash [PA pa squash] Peninsula in Bristol, possibly "broken rocks", not "papoose squaw"

Pascoag [PASS ko] hamlet in Burrillville “where the river branches”

Paucatuck [PAW kah tuck] in Westerly “a divided stream”

Pawtucket [puh TUCK it] “place of waterfall”

Pawtuxet [puh TUCKS it] at border of Cranston and Warwick, “at a little falls”; applies to entire river inland with two branches to headwaters in Coventry and Scituate

Pesquamscot [pes KWAMS kit] Pond in Richmond, aka Worden's Pond, state's largest natural lake, where “a boulder is split”

Pettaquamscutt [pet tah KWAMS kit] Meeting Place in South Kingstown “at the round rock”; also by proximity applied to what's now Narrow River

Pocasset [poh CASS it] River in Cranston "where the stream widens"

Ponaganset [pon ah GAN sit] Reservoir in Foster at a "waiting place on the shore"

Potowomut [pot uh WAHM ut] in Warwick, a "long meadow where trading occurs"

Quidnessett [kwid NESS sit] in North Kingstown “at a small island”

Quidnick [KWID nick] in Coventry “at hill’s end”

Quonochontaug [KWAN uh kon tog] in Charlestown an “extended deserted place beside two adjacent long ponds”

Quonset [KWAN sit] Point in North Kingstown at “a long place by a shallow cove”

Sachuest [SAT choo est] in Middletown “at the little hill near the great hill” between which is Paradise Valley, a geological and naturalist mecca for late 18th Century impressionist painters, including George Bellows, Paradise Point, oil on canvas (1919), likely inspired by an area at northeast corner of Gardiner Pond along Hanging Rock Road. This plein air painting intentionally draws your eye to Sachuest Point barely seen to left on horizon.

Sakonnet [sah KON nit] Point in Little Compton with a “rocky outlet”; also people who resided there and river that flows south past there

Sapowet [sah POW it] Marsh in Tiverton, literally “wet mire”, now a bird sanctuary

Saugatucket [saw gah TUCK it] River in South Kingstown “at the outlet of the tidal river”

Scituate [SIT yoo it] Town “at the cold brook or springs”

Seekonk [SEE konk] estuary to Providence River “where black geese are”

Shannock [SHAN nock] Village in Richmond where “salmon fishing” is good

Shawomet [SHAW oh meht], now Warwick Neck, where there's a “spring on a tongue of land”, also applied by early settlers to a spit in Northern Portsmouth

Shickasheen [SHICK ah sheen] Brook in West Kingston providing a “great water spring”

Shumunkanuck [shoe mun KAH nuck] Hill in Charlestown, a “high refuge”

Suckatunkanuck [suck ah TUNK kah nuk] Hill in Johnston, once wooded with “dark colored rocks at summit”

Sneech [SNEECH] Pond in Cumberland with “rocks alongside or at outlet”

Sockanosset [SOCK ah noh set] Crossroad at a “dark colored small place” in Cranston; once a slate mine

Sowams [soh WAHMS] in Barrington, “land to the south”

Sqauntum [SKWAHN tum] Point in East Providence, “gateway to an angry god"”

Succotash [SUK koh tash] Point and Road in South Kingstown associated with “corn kernel pulp”, an important foodstuff

Tautog [tah TOG] Cove in Charlestown “where there are fish”; also applied to actual species of fish

Tiogue [TIE ohg] in Coventry, a “pond at low land”

Tippecanset [tip peh CAN sit] Pond in Exeter, a “small place at the great clearing”

Tockwotton [TOCK wot ton] Shore in East Providence at a “steep climb resembling a pounding mortar”

Tommaquaug [TOM ah kWAh] Brook in Hopkington, where "they who cut" butcher beavers

Touisset [too WEE set] a quiet corner of Warren where you “ford a stream”

Tunk [TUNK] Hill in South Scituate, is “wooded”

Usquepaug [US kah pog] on river at border of Richmond and South Kingstown “at the end of pond”

Wamponaug [WAHM poh nog] Trail in East Providence, after "People of the First Light (Dawn, East)" who greeted European settlers beside their Sachem Massasoit shown (1620), with deserved reservations but dutiful generosity. Ancestors of these pandemic infected pilgrims given unconditional refuge are now among the most vocal anti-immigrationists.

Wanskuk [WANS kuk] in North Providence at a “steep spot”

Wanamoisett [wah nah MOY sit] in East Providence, once “a good place to fish”

Watchaug [WATCH og] Pond in Charlestown "at hill country"

Watchemoket [watch uh MAH ket] Pond in East Providence “where there’s a great spring”

Weekapaug [WEEK ah pog] at Charlestown and Westerly, a “dividing line” between Niantic and Nipmuc tribes

Wesquage [WESS kwage] Pond at Bonnet Shores in Narragansett, a "cove where clay pots are made", now a wildlife refuge

Westconnaug [WEST con og] Reservoir near Clayville in Foster at “a long place”

Weybosset [way BAH set] Street in downtown Providence; “half way gets narrow”, as at a bridge

Wickaboxet [WICK ah box it] in West Greenwich "at the end of a small pond"

Wincheck [WIN check] Pond at Rockville in Hopkinton, "a pleasant place"

Winnapaug [WIN nah pog] in Westerly, a “good pond”

Woonasquatucket [woo NAH skwa TUCK it] River flows from Smithfield into Providence River “at head of the tidal river”

Woonsocket [woon SOCK it] city at a “steep spot with two rivers”

Wyoming [why OH ming] in Richmond; “large prairie” name much later imported from Delaware language, so not native

Yawgoog [YAWH goo] in Hopkinton on “one side of pond”

Rhode Island founder Roger Williams, exiled from congregation and outnumbered by locals, naturally became interested in Narraganset (Algonquian) language, so he codified A Key Into the Language of America (1643) from oral phonetic into originally written. His healthy respect helped preserve many old place names that gave food hints and useful facts; property ownership was not their priority. Ones that stuck refer to bays, brooks, coves, lakes, parks, ponds, rivers, roads, and whatever nobody owns. If they could build on it, upstart settlers would've tagged it meaninglessly and taken for themselves. English and French brazenly or ignorantly overwrote majority with port towns names from old world for no sensible reason or used own surnames to claim property. Ego, insecurity, or sociopathy obviously played a role. Nobody can go back and stop them from despoiling environment and violating treaties, but you can today organize resistance, stay vigilant, and stop tyrants before they destroy democracy, ruin rule of law, and strip rights from you.

Despots through history renamed places (i.e., Gulf of Mexico to Gulf of America, or Tsaritsyn to Stalingrad) to confuse, cower and dominate citizens. Williams also wrote extensively on the misuse of executive and governmental powers. The Bloudy Tenent of Persecution for Cause of Conscience (1644) was a source for First Amendment of the United States Constitution guaranteeing free speech, though currently under shocking attack through restrictive executive orders with specious lawsuits brought against investigative journalists, media outlets, news reporters, private colleges, and whoever challenges their ruthless campaign to seize authoritarian rule. You stand at an inflection point where the worst of history tries to repeat itself.

John Wilderming of the National Gallery noted, "At the center of all its contrasts the Rhode Island landscape has been abidingly benevolent... making us feel that little separates the real from the ideal... How could it be otherwise in a state which has place names like Prudence, Patience, Providence, Hope, and Paradise [respectively, bay islands, capitol city, hamlet in Scituate, and valley on south shore of Middletown]?" Elite residents have fought for decades to limit or remove detrimental core industries, thus impoverishing factory workers and other laborers. Lack of housing and jobs suits multigenerational multimillionaires just fine, not their problem, since they prefer untended fields and wild woods separating them from hungry humans and neglected needy.

What I Like About You

"Keep on whispering in my ear. Tell me all the things that I wanna hear, ‘cause it's true, that's What I Like About You.” Jimmy Marinos, The Romantics, 1979

Be proud majority of Lil’ Rhody voters decided to dump Trump. Don’t be shocked that 20% of them still support Don the Con. APA would say that in any group one in four has a personality disorder, so under 200 thousand correlates among a population of over 1 million. Trump carried no urban areas except for narrowest of wins in Woonsocket, and eked out slim victories in towns of rural west. This tracked national map, where he’s a paragon of personal grit to bible belt rubes and deep south rebs who buy into The Big Lie: You can purchase security by giving up liberty. Otherwise, states he won were nearly a toss up. In home states Nevada, New Jersey, New York, Pennsylvania, and Washington D.C., where residents witnessed his bizarre behaviors and shady business first hand, polls resoundingly renounced him. Biden won popular election by over 6 million, about 5% of record 152 million ballots cast in 2020. in contrast, in 2016 Trump garnered much fewer than Hillary Clinton but secured the slimmest electoral margin ever through alleged Russian hacks, low turnout, and widespread fraud. Only 25% of those eligible elected him into office. Scary part is he has actually gained popularity with an approval rating up to 45% among small samples recently polled.

Fiercely independent and typically conservative, countryfolk rather live apart on mortgaged land than occupy urban tenements. Generally, with little intergroup contact, resolving conflicts and tolerating troublemakers aren’t their strengths. Some work for global agribusinesses who dictate who they should vote for. Fox News, QAnon, and reactionary religions warn congregations and whoever listens that Republicans represent their beliefs despite conclusive evidence to the contrary. Not true of entire Midwest, Nebraska’s 2nd District would have none of it, and stereotypes are nonsense. Marijuana growers, meth labs, and moonshiners also dot countryside. Democrats (who largely labor in factories and live in cities) outnumber Republicans (upper middle class business and property owners), but independents (who span left to right) beat both and, unrepresented, must side with either. By GOP design states with least residents get disproportionate electoral clout. Votes are thereby rigged in favor of minority party, who threaten every ideal of democracy with false logic and greed tactic of market economy.

Trump claims he’s for family values, but just look at what his family values. He’s no church goer, fights a Twitter feud against Pope Francis. Third wife is a former stripper and illegal alien linked to Russian mob. Kids are opportunists cutting illegal deals with multinational gangsters. Fringe groups he’s defended include Aryan Nation, gun nuts, and white supremacists. Dad was a klansman, though he’ll deny it when confronted, just as he contradicts own statements no sooner than he makes them in rare moments when he speaks lucidly in full sentences. His ad hominem style pushes emotional buttons with succinct putdowns and tag memes. He’s clearly against educators, journalists, PBS, scientists, and those demonstrably smarter since they make him appear an idiot. His MAGA slogan suspiciously resembles Mussolini’s Make Italy Great Again, which betrays his fascist foundation and brought nothing but cooperative ruination. It’s been alleged that WWII Nazis never gave up trying to raise a Fourth Reich, which masquerades as a conservative coalition of whom he imagines himself supreme leader. Never having served in military, he called war hero Senator McCain a coward because he was captured, interned, and survived to further serve constituents. He disrespects military, and made it a priority to infiltrate Pentagon with his own operatives. Trump’s interminable speeches, analyzed by experts over 20 years, reveal him to be an amoral, anti-environmental, autocratic, biased, bullying, conceited, criminal, denialist, divisive, elitist, fascist, greedy, low class, lying, misogynist, narcissist, nationalist, paranoid, racist, rambling, sadist, sanctimonious, self absorbed, treasonous xenophobe who is dismissive of citizens with disabilities, doesn't know what public service entails, has no domestic or foreign policies other than raid federal treasury and strike unholy deals with worst of scum, and only respects those who prey upon “losers” given his long history as casino owner and cruel landlord who profited off the suffering of others. No one could make all this up. Whatever John the Baptist was to Jesus Christ, Trump is to the Antichrist. If you vote based on ideology alone, why go along with an amoral clown?

What’s true? Deplorables like how Trump feeds them what they want to hear, even though it’s just ego boosts, empty promises, and fear validation for those to whom world is a Malthusian hell hole of their own making for which they refuse to take responsibility. He’s a hero to anti-regulatory slackers, brazen bullies, crime lords, drug dealers, gangsters, gunslingers, mental defectives, robber barons, street hustlers, and the worst you’ll find slithering hidden. While Tumpkins cite Al Wilson’s song The Snake (1969) as an invasion allegory including stranger danger over those you should never comfort or invite, it’s Trump himself who’s not to be trusted. Deranged misinformation factories always want to flip the script back onto plaintiffs. In fact, automation, not immigration, accounts for a much larger portion of job loss nationwide. "What voters think is true is more important in elections than the actual truth," a fact that Trump exists to exploit.

However, it’s not what you say or think but what you do that matters. Trump inherited a fortune, then parlayed it into a casino empire by pandering and pimping to addicts. Panama Papers compiled by an international nonpartisan consortium of journalists named him 3,750 times, more than any other perp on planet, as a known money launderer and tax evader. The first president in history not to disclose his tax return, he avoided $95 million owed and paid practically no taxes since 2000 from his golf courses, numerous resorts, and several casinos raking in billions, which he intentionally bankrupted to beat taxes while drawing inestimable salaries. His charities and college were closed by federal judges when determined to be frauds, and television show cancelled for poor ratings and rank unreality. Rumor has it that he ran for POTUS to avoid billions in losses and probable prosecution.

Elected despite no previous political experience, his legacy in office matches much of his life. No substantive bills were signed by him; though hundreds passed House, coconspirator McConnell made sure they’d never be debated in Senate with personal desk vetoes. Trump built a 12th Century wall against migration, executed own orders to kick millions of people off health insurance, pardoned felons, rescinded 65 of 100 environmental policies, rushed to sell oil rights in protected natural reserves including ANWAR, separated children from detained parents, and waged economic war with trading partners. His inept handling of COVID-19 pandemic led to millions of deaths; an estimated 35,000 of his own rally attendees were infected and 750 died, while he denied virulence and further infected staff members. His self-centeredness doubled federal debt and plunged nation into worst job loss in half a century, net minus 5%, after not keeping pace with Obama’s 10% gains, for which he took credit. Reagan, lionized for jobs and economy, stumbled for entire first term and trailed Clinton by 10% in second. Trump only admitted incompetent yes men into his revolving door administration, though few survived his irrational outbursts. Of 450 White House staff members, he’s had a record 85% turnover; many quit over conscience, others were indicted for fraud on his behalf, and scores were convicted and now serving time. Too fond of phrase, “You’re fired!” his spin was that he was trying to derive an ideal staff; reality is that best and brightest ran away and refused to be interviewed. In a typical story, according to AP, “Trump’s own election security agency has declared the 2020 presidential election to have been the most secure in history. Days after that statement was issued, Trump fired the agency’s leader.” Debunks his myth, no?

Trump was impeached for ballot tampering and would have been ousted except Senate Leader McConnell refused to hear evidence that would have convicted him. McConnell ought to be indicted for felony collusion, yet remains entrenched to stonewall progressives. Bill Clinton was impeached merely upon the impropriety of having a tryst in Oval Office and prevaricating when Congress confronted him for political leverage. Trump’s House trial was the most decisive of 3 in US history. This inquiry enhanced scrutiny over volunteer count and voter registration, so made it nearly impossible to cheat in 2020, thus his undoing. Trump answered no congressional subpoenas, colluded with foreign enemies, didn’t drain swamp as promised, doubled federal debt, enacted no new policies, extorted others and own nation for personal gain, forestalled several hundred new pieces of Democratic legislation while calling opponents "do-nothings", hid foreign investments and tax embarrassments, hired convicted and indicted criminals, hoodwinked rural electorate, insulted international trading partners without whom nation can’t exist, made America a global laughing stock, mined fears and frustrations instigated by GOP, and spent more than 300 times his salary on himself. Those who supported his reelection after all these revelations flagged their delusional fallacy or lack of decency.

Though it’s politically incorrect to demonize those who are mentally ill, a consortium of hundreds of psychiatrists expressed unanimous concern over his diagnosable psychoses. Any aim to improve government to suit incumbent’s own biases and whims can’t be healthy, prudent or safe. Diplomacy requires finding mutually beneficial approaches to nagging problems. History is littered with the failed regimes of hated dictators. Constitutional democracy has proven the longest lasting system. It was their real concern that nation couldn’t endure for 4 years with him at the helm, never mind 8. Need for greed is a disease that a market economy feeds, though you’ll be called a liar should you say so. If there was social justice, lives wouldn't be ruined on a quest for senseless accumulation. Pirate history teaches all a valuable lesson: After robbing treasure, they had no place to go, so couldn't improve lives by spending. Gold lust blinds, isolates, and turns one into a persona non grata.

Republicans can’t accept his loss because they gerrymandered districts and electoral votes in their own favor. Their accusations of voter “irregularities” describes a kettle calling pot black, but it’s more like an elephant afraid of a mouse. Speaks volumes when his supporters protested at polling places armed with assault rifles to intimidate unarmed volunteers, a vignette of what’s wrong in a polarized America. Deep state anxiety? Reverse conspiracy theory has Trump engineering pandemic to limit voting. It didn't work; many states shifted to mail-in ballots, and voters smartly took advantage. It was always a question who Democrats could promote to win decisively so manipulation couldn’t subvert majority's vote. It’s not that nation preferred Biden, who now owns the record for collecting most ballots ever cast and a 306 electoral victory after lawsuits and recounts; more just wanted Trump gone. Yet he and his lawyers are frantically trying to overturn results in swing states where he won on smaller margins against Hillary Clinton, even summoning Republican certifiers and state canvassers to White House to defy will of people and ignore counts. Constitutional experts already explained how he has no legal path to victory, but what does that matter to a scofflaw? Despite packing courts with conservative cronies, judges have ruled against every contention he’s thus far made.

For Trump concession means failure, loss, nothing to which he’d ever admit. Yet he’s bankrupted dozens of cash cows, defaulted on a billion in bank loans, and run dozens of businesses into ground laying off thousands of workers and leaving a wake of misery while taking millions in salary. Bragging that he took no pay as president, which he considered chump change, he bilked treasury for nearly a billion. Every golf outing at one of his resorts cost tens of millions in secret service lodging and transportation, which he pocketed, as he set a record for more vacations, 98, than all other presidents combined, not to mention nonstop rallies to prop up his celebrity profile.

Biden should be advised to change all White House locks, count antiques and silverware, fumigate premises, and sweep for bugs after escorting him out in handcuffs. Trump called historic presidential residence a “shit hole” along with scores of third world countries. A narcissistic sociopath and national embarrassment with his fake facts, fake news, fake presidency, and soon fake broadcast network, Trump will continue his relentless attack against civil rights, common sense, decency, democracy, inclusion, race, reason, tolerance and women. Already nation’s oldest president at inauguration, he expects to win a second term in 2024, when he’ll be 78 years old. Not to be ageist, Reagan was senile most of his 2nd term, which ended in his 77th year, in an office that rapidly aged and exhausted holders decades younger. No matter, Trump plans to promote plentiful progeny to act as personal proxies. The demon who possesses and protects Trump is ageless, a devious predator nourished on blood and power since antiquity. Don’t expect Don to fade nicely into sunset and let nation heal and rebound.

Good Gourd!

The Ocean State confuses residents and visitors alike with similar names for places widely separated. Don’t even start with roads and streets with identical uncommon names in cities or towns that don’t share a border, as opposed to Central, Church, Main, Maple, Oak, Park you’d find anywhere. Consider for examples: Cranston Street in both Cranston and Woonsocket, Laurel Hill Avenue in both Pascoag and Providence, Tidewater Drives or Streets in 5 communities from Pawtucket to South Kingstown. By old road customs highways, not modern interstates, carry names of destinations or origins, such as Hartford Avenue, New London Turnpike, Plainfield Pike, and Putnam Pike, cities and towns in neighboring Connecticut, or Taunton Avenue and West Wrentham Road toward Massachusetts. Makes sense to direct traffic efficiently. However, these hamlets, places and villages push reasonable limits by seemingly mimicking one other as if alternate aliases, bizarre buddies, dizzy dopplegangers.

Allendale (North Providence) vs. Allen Harbor and Allenton (North Kingstown) vs. Allins Cove (Barrington); there are also Alan Avenue (Cumberland, Narragansett, Portsmouth), Alan Drive (Bristol), Alan Street (Tiverton), Allan Court (Newport), Allan Drive (Lincoln), Allen Avenue (Cranston, East Providence, North Providence, Warwick), Allens Avenue (Providence), and Allen Street (Riverside) not connected to places. This alone is remarkably strange, but read on...
Alton (Richmond) vs. Ashton (Lincoln)
Annaquatucket (North Kingstown) vs. Annawomscutt (Barrington)
Apponaug (Warwick) vs. Quonochontaug (Charlestown)
Aquidneck (Island) vs. Quidnick (Coventry)
Arlington (Cranston) vs. Darlington (Pawtucket)
Ashaway (Hopkington) vs. Ashton (Lincoln)
Avondale (Westerly) vs. Adamsdale (Cumberland) vs. Adamsville (Little Compton)
Barberville (Hopkinton) vs. Burrillville
Blackrock (Coventry) vs. Blackstone vs. Greystone (North Providence) - a shade different?
Burr Hill (Warren) vs. Burdickville (Hopkinton) vs. Burrillville
Canonchet (Hopkinton) vs. Chepacet (Glocester)
Canonchet Farm (Narragansett) vs. Canonchet (Hopkinton)
Centerdale (North Providence) vs. Centerville (West Warwick)
Charlestown vs. Charles (Providence)
Clayville (Scituate) vs. Dayville (nearby Connecticut) vs. Davisville (North Kingstown)
Crompton (Warwick) vs. Little Compton
Dunn’s Corner (Westerly), Dunn Park (Woonsocket)
Esmond (North Providence) vs. Richmond
Fairbanks (Coventry) vs. Fairlawn (Pawtucket)
Foster Center being 3.3 miles southeast of North Foster and 4 miles southwest of South Foster; take your cartography and geometry lessons in Glocester to be safe.
Georgiaville (Smithfield) vs. Graniteville (Burrillville) vs. Graniteville (Johnston)
Glendale (Burrillville) vs. Glen Meadow (Warwick) vs. Glen Park (Portsmouth)
Gordon Street (Cranston), Gordon Avenue (Providence), Gordon Avenue (Warwick), Gorton Pond Warwick
Great Island vs. Great Swamp
Greene (Coventry) vs. Green’s End vs. Greenville (Smithfield)
Harris (formerly Harrisville, Coventry) vs. Harrisville (Burrillville)
Hillsdale (Richmond) vs. Hillsgrove (Warwick)

Hillsdale vs. Mountaindale; one-upsmanship?
Hope (Scituate) vs. Hope Valley (Richmond)
Hopkins Hollow (Coventry) vs. Hopkinton
Indian Lake (South Kingstown) vs. India Point (Providence)
Jackson (Coventry) vs. Johnston vs. Jamestown
Manville (Lincoln) vs. Melville (Middletown)
Maryville vs. Mapleville
Mapleville vs. Maple Valley
Meshanticut (Cranston) vs. Moon's Cut vs. Metacomet (East Providence)

Mount Hope (Bristol) vs. Mount Hope (Providence); Hope is the state motto.
North Kingstown vs. West Kingston (South Kingstown) with neither an East Kingston nor North Kingston
Oakland vs. Oaklawn vs. Oak Valley
Oaklawn vs. Woodlawn; okay, enough with the oaks and their copper/russet leaves denoting end of autumn and start of winter.
Park Square (Cranston) vs. Park Square (East Providence)
Paucatuck (Westerly) vs. Pawtucket vs. Pawtuxet (Cranston)
River Point (West Warwick) vs. Riverside (East Providence) vs. Riverview (Warwick)
Sandy Point Beach (Warwick) vs. Sandy Point Beach (Portsmouth)
Sayles Hill (North Smithfield) vs. Saylesville (Lincoln) vs. Slatersville (Burrillville)
Slater Park (Pawtucket) vs. Slatersville (Burrillville)
Saundersville (Scituate) vs. Saunderstown (North Kingstown)
Slate Hill Park (Cranston) vs. Slater Park (Pawtucket)
Smithfield vs. Smith Hill (Providence) vs. Smithville (Scituate)
South County with no North County
Tucker Hollow (North Scituate) vs. Tug Hollow (Richmond)
Valley Falls (Cumberland) vs. Valley (Providence)
Washington Park (Providence) vs. Washington (Coventry)
Warren vs. Warwick
Warren's Point Beach (Warren) vs. Warren Town Beach (Little Compton)
Warwick’s Buttonwood, Edgewood (Cranston, but bordering), Greenwood, Lakewood, and Norwood - except Buttonwood, none especially wooded, thought there’s a Wood Lake Park in Johnston.
Woodlawn (Pawtucket) vs. Woodville (North Providence) vs. Woodville (Richmond)
Woody Hill (Exeter) vs. Woody Hill (Westerly)

Sunflowers in Saunderstown

Coincidence could account for some repetition, or envy, or laziness, or terrain (hills, lakes, woods). You’d think residents would want unique names to avoid having mail or visitors misdirected. Post office mostly goes by zip code precisely because of this. Kudos to forebears for using Native American names so often, thus preserving what locales were called for millennia. Narragansett literally means Narrow River, town’s chief topographical feature. Ninigret, Pettaquamscutt, Ponagansett, Pottowomut, Quidnessett, Saugatucket and Westconnnaugh roll delightfully over your tongue, and to those to whom they hold meaning a hearth and hovel in which to huddle. Majority of names, however, hark back in time to important statesmen or port towns in Britain from which first settlers embarked.

Tourists visit state's coastal hamlets and villages for general ambiance and quaint architecture. They weigh in record gourds (490 pounds) and pumpkins in Warren. Rhode Island was really about mills along its 13 steady rivers churning wheels of productivity before water power was replaced by electricity. Mill villages still have businesses and residences without charming presences. You're more likely to encounter entrepreneurial gnomes and nursing homes than family domiciles and specialty shop miles. If you make an effort to follow rivers and see, you’ll get a lesson in history.

It’s well known that residents ignore official labels, prefer to give directions in terms of landmarks that used to exist. “Hang a left where Almacs used to be,” stupidly assumes you once knew of such a supermarket. Why even ask for directions? State is so small, you can bumble around a bit and still find it. Well, maybe not Antushantuck Neck Necropolis on Pocasset River where many end up anyway.

A disturbed mind finds everything disturbing; why bring up anything that demands thinking? All these places were once collectively called Providence Plantations; these days they want to remove that phrase from state's name (longest in America) because of some false associations to southern farms with captive labor. Rhode Island was the first state in nation to abolish slavery, but nobody remembers early innovation. 

Boomers in baseball caps only offer a lifetime of experiences during wild times. Somehow they managed to keep vicious megalomaniacs with shiny new nuclear weapons from destroying all life on planet. They deserve a bit of credit. Some issues do bear mentioning after all. In an election year like none since nation began, petty concerns of political divide can be taken in stride.