Ride Rode Ridden

Relatively flat and ridiculously puny Rhode Island may well be the nation’s epicenter of bicycling culture. In decent weather within a work shift you can ride a bike from Watch Hill to Woonsocket Hill, which represents state’s longest cross. Besides genesis of Labann’s Bike&Chain: The Ultimate Guide to Bicycling Culture, denizens of Providence’s art and music scene routinely haunt its West End by bike. League of American Bicyclists (originally Wheelmen) was founded in Newport, nowadays tourism central; some of The 400 began Good Road Movement to advocate road improvement, long before cars were common, and denied membership to non-whites. The City by the Sea was once a prefect venue for public bicycling on neatly paved streets before distracted gawkers in busses and cars invaded. It still hosts local shop and reliable purveyor Ten Speed Spokes should you opt to spin out to Brenton Point.

Population density increases death statistics. After monitoring carefully for over a decade, must caution that one bicyclist dies on average every 2 years among Rhode Island’s 5 counties, particularly within a new season and these 2 cities. Despite national trends, all but one were adults, not teens.

In September of 2007, 41 year old real estate developer Frank Cabral of Oakland Beach, while recreational cycling in the wide breakdown lane alongside US-1 in Charlestown, was struck dead instantly by a Mercedes SUV. Driver excused herself with sun in her eye after politely swerving onto road edge to answer a cell phone while continuing at speed. “Couldn’t be helped,” so no charges were filed. Since incident occurred in an obscure spot where few would notice, a ghost bike was deployed for a year in Frank’s hometown honor at Hoxie 4 Corners [shown], a persistent impediment to bicyclists defying Federal Code of Regulations, then displayed with reverence at Procycle 2009, a curated art show in which bicycling was depicted by 75 works in every medium, first of its kind in New England attended by thousands.

This senseless example of privileged contempt for mankind did inspire unprecedented legislation aimed at protecting vulnerable road users. Frank’s Law, largely unknown but named after Cabral, demands that motorists only pass bicyclists and pedestrians when they can maintain a distance of more than 3 feet, or pay a $75 fine. However, no arrests or tickets have been reported in the decade since bill was passed. Motorists rather pay insurance companies to assume liability for any fatality. Frank’s was the only demise to occur in Washington County, popular with cyclists given reduced traffic count, served by NBX and Stedman’s shops.

Rhode Island's unenforceable Hand's Free Cell Phone Provision takes effect next month. Hard to stay safe bicycling or walking while motorists, bored by driving, can't resist talking, texting, and worse behaviors when they're supposed to be obeying laws to continue slinging around tons of legal steel. By taking a license motorists agree to put other road users above own convenience. Drivers are obliged to let pass, stop for, and watch out for bicyclists and pedestrians, not pass them unless they can do so without coming within a meter, a yardstick. Self driving vehicles represent a worrisome development; in March of 2018 a prototype Uber taxi killed a Tempe bicyclist after failing to recognize her as a human.

In January of 2008, 21 year old Amanda Lynn Benge lost her promising vivacity near the Providence Art Club on Thomas Street between Benefit and North Main. A winter ride down a steep hill could explain it, but cause was never disclosed. Imagine she was a college hill student, but whoever knows didn’t have anything to say on incident’s 10th anniversary. People rather forget and seldom discuss such tragedies. Makes it hard for public to celebrate vibrant lives of victims slain, mostly commemorated by local Dash and Legend shops, Providence Bicycle, and RI Bicycling Coalition.

In May of 2009, 66 year old Victor Rodrigues Porter of Providence’s West End was found near intersection of Cranston Street and Niantic Avenue by police, who heard his anguished cries after being struck by a hit-and-run driver. He did not survive his injuries. This cold case crime, within blocks of Cranston Police HQ and Washington Secondary Bike Path, remains under investigation, though will probably stay so forever. Nearby Olneyville’s Red Shed educates youngsters to bike safe, repair own, and steer clear of mortal despair.

Nevertheless, in November of 2010, 13 year old North Smithfield Middle School student Scott Wright, while in crosswalk at the intersection of RI-5 and RI-102, was mowed down by a minivan. Those who commented in driver’s defense speciously say damage to side of her vehicle and lack of police arrest prove she was blameless. Might made her right. Only juvenile to join Providence County’s list of sacrificed cyclists in this century, Wright must’ve been wrong. With a sigh, Blackstone and Circuit bike shops serve cities north of Providence.

With no reports in Bristol, state’s smallest county, focus shifts to Aquidneck Island. In March of 2012, 42 year old submariner systems engineer Michael Strickland went down on Purgatory Road near Tuckerman, in Middletown. He planned to return home to Perth, Australia, after completing his defense industry contract. Details again were sketchy: assumption of bicyclist’s error, blinded by setting sun, and so on, stupid excuses heard all too often.

Later, in October, 64 year old retired naval officer then capitol city dentist Elliot Kaminitz was struck on Memorial Drive near Old Beach Road in Newport. He’ll be missed by his bereaved family and entire community in which he was very active. Family established a ghost bike as a further memorial, which still can be seen; most don’t survive long. Residents typically resent such reminders to be kind and share public thoroughfares responsibly.

Update: Somehow overlooked sad story of able seaman, Middletown grandfather, and Naval electronic technician Art Weekley, who died of injuries sustained after colliding with a deer charging across Ocean Drive near Goose Neck Cove at 7:15 AM on June 9th, 2014. Art had been an avid cyclist since 1990. A ghost bike has been installed in his honor and for service to his country. Figures that Newport would account for more than its share, with distracted tourists, heavy traffic, and narrow streets.

Kent Country account for last two. In July of 2015, political aide to both governor and senator Chafee, 64 year old Charles Hawkins of North Providence, was vetoed down on Bald Hill Road (RI-2) just North of College Street by a 4 decade old Datsun. Ironically, avid cyclist Hawkins advised on energy and transportation approaches, which probably included peddling pedaling. “Charlie was unique and special," Lincoln Chafee emailed to NBC 10 News. Reports suggest he was returning from beach in late afternoon, walking his bike in gore area to cross 4 lanes of incessant high speed traffic, wanting to reach bike path just blocks away in direction he was headed. Have personally witnessed pedestrians and wheelchair users struggling without crosswalks and sent letters in protest to state officials prior to accident. Who’s really to blame?

In June of 2017, 36 year old Christopher Ziobrowski of Chepacet, while attempting to switch lanes, collided with a white Nissan SUV at Coventry’s 2400 Block of Nooseneck Hill Road (RI-3), then succumbed to injuries days later. Can’t find much more to relay about this eager light snuffed out way too soon.

All appear to have been wearing helmets; so much for protection they allegedly afford. Feel-good laws that both affected folks and law enforcers forget negligibly increase safety. The fastest way would be if more drivers licenses were denied, revoked or suspended, and traffic laws were enforced, which even police admit aren't 90% of the time. Had officials heeded activists and reacted accordingly, would some of these deaths have been avoided? Actually, eight bicyclist fatalities in 2 decades represents relatively few versus hundreds of motorists who die every year on Rhode Island roads. Bordering Massachusetts, denigrated for its dangerous drivers, buried thirty-three bicyclists since 2015.

Fear and inconvenience are why so few adults ride bikes. There's far more to fear from motoring, unsafe in countless ways and horribly inconvenient. You must annually work on average 4.5 months to clear $9,000 needed to drive. You're rewarded by abusive traffic, big deficits, crumbling bridges, no parking, poor health, and stress. Motor collisions are the nation’s 3rd leading cause of death, more than gun violence and infectious diseases combined. Nationwide, NHTSA notes as many motoring fatalities (~40,000) each year as bicycling has seen in total since The Civil War when first bicycles appeared.

As America’s smallest state, why isn’t RI leading in road design? Why are we only 29th in bike friendliness? Why steal shoulders for cramped lanes that cause more accidents? Why install controls that don’t work for cyclists? Highways and railroads cut off routes and don’t post signs to guide cyclists around, although they’re supposed to. Bad intersections, bridge bans, and brutal traffic create detours and intimidate riders. RI's cyclonet has been an unsafe afterthought since automotive expansion during 1970's. Motorists wouldn't stand for this. Bicyclists shouldn’t either!

Your sense of safety will never compel official decisions; distance, hazards, hills and ice persist for which cyclists must prepare. Nonprofits will capitalize on your feeling exposed to criminal behaviors and crushing vehicles. Yet you’ll always be safer cycling than driving.

When states make it difficult or impossible to bike or walk, they illegally restrict those who’d choose to. State Chapter 31-19 grants bicyclists access to all bridges and roads, and, where impractical, mandates parallel accommodations. Illegally, 25% of RI’s roadnet is either bike unfriendly or clearly dangerous. Every road 24’ or wider must either facilitate cycling or factor in a nearby bikeway or bikeable road. They can’t just construct bridges and highways restricted only to motoring. This also implies zoning codes that deny malls and stores permission to locate on busy roads if they neglect bike access from adjacent neighborhoods. Planners need to reconsider; complete compliance involves less than 5% of roadnet and usually only after repaving segments and repainting stripes, which must be done anyway. Costs little, yet cures many problems.


USDOT spends $250,000 on automotive transportation for every $1 on bikes. RIDOT diverts dollars so visitors can zoom though state at the expense of resident safety. State is suffering a billion dollar deficit with unsustainable road construction a main drain. Better bike infrastructure would address this waste. Bikeways return their investment 20:1. Separate street lanes make a statement: Bicycles belong. Make it safer, as FHWA demands, and more might bike than drive, since an average trip either way is only 3.5 miles, <30 minutes for even the slowest cyclist.

Once the worst place to ride a bike in a hundred mile radius, Providence has made numerous updates over the last decade. Public embarrassment and relentless advocacy played a part, plus electing a mayor who rides. Striped lanes were added during each road redevelopment. But they don’t make up for bikenet losses in Newport and Warwick. New $100 million Apponaug Circulator exemplifies federal code neglect by further limiting both bicycle and pedestrian access.

Traffic code is for regulating deadly momentum of cars, not bikes, originated specifically to protect those on bike and foot. Driving is a privilege to be earned and kept. A license obligates driver to obey laws and share roads. Impatience is the main reason air conditioned, comfortably seated motorists can’t wait and deprive others. Under numerous restrictions, motorists sought road dominance. In 1920 they coined fake term jaywalking to counter real complaints of joyriding. The following year Providence Boy Scouts, deluded by automotive lobbies, summoned jaywalkers to a school for careless pedestrians for reeducation. Be angry with traffic planners for negligence, not cyclists, other motorists, and pedestrians, who consequently happen to be in your way.

Bicycling or walking is an inalienable right, one of basic mobility. You’re entitled to: Go outside, improve health, reduce carbon footprint, ride anywhere public roads go, and skip motoring altogether. Bicyclists are not obliged to stay in gutters or on sidewalks, may legally assume lane and cross anywhere, and supposed to ride in travel lanes. Shoulders are what allow them to ease over and let cars pass. Despite slower pace, they do not have to give up lane, rather proceed unimpeded.

But freedoms aren’t free. You have to act responsibly and fight to keep them. Open your eyes! Don't be marginalized! Speak up; otherwise, officials sworn to serve you have no idea things stink. A Statewide Bicycling System will only happen if you demand it. Attend Transportation Advisory Committee and town meetings. Tell them, "Adapt roadsides, build bikeways, paint bike lanes... NOW." With cost of driving higher than minimum wages can afford, why have politicians forsaken the poor? Next election, vote velorution! Until then, bike and be seen.

Update: Ethan Simpson, 21 years old, was mowed down by an SUV at Arrowhead and Willet Avenues in East Providence in August, 2017. Mary Wilk, 22 years old, died after overtaken on Rt. 1 near Jerry Brown Farm Road in South Kingstown in July, 2016. Assailants were both women. No charges were filed.

Wages of Sin

Several Rhode Island cities and towns entered into or face bankruptcy: Central Falls, Coventry, East Providence, Johnston, Narragansett, Newport, Providence, and West Warwick. Distressed municipalities result from all sorts of reasons, but usually it comes down to either malfeasance or mismanagement. Seems no reason for this cancer not to spread throughout, since state has suspended municipal aid. It’s too easy to divert money from the treasury into pockets when times are good. Mayors or overseers often overestimate future revenues and promise too much to workforce in retirement entitlements. A less understood reason lies in an insufficiency of scale. If you give breaks to businesses for locating or staying within your borders, it restricts residential taxes you could assess and shrinks footprint for other investments. Foremost, people must somehow be able to secure gainful employment, which explains these acts of desperation.

Empty mills can be filled with artist lofts, entrepreneurial startups, or residential apartments instead of given away to subsidiaries of big businesses who employ ever fewer workers locally. Abandoned or neglected properties contributing nothing also waste resources when they burn or collapse. Centuries of oil dripping from machines make mills tinderboxes with massive remediation necessity. Holding companies interminably dodge responsibilities and taxes. Knocking them down could solve several problems at once. As long as they aren’t toxic brownfields, sell the land for revenue producing construction.

Taxpayers and voters who absorb all the costs figure they have something to say about such fiascos. They can complain all they want, but it won’t do anything. The next mayor will inherit intractable obligations forged over decades. Better state arrests, incarcerates and seizes assets of miscreant bureaucrats formerly entrenched, but that, though possible, hardly ever happens. Better voters recall seated officials before holes get too deep, but that’s even more unlikely. Lasting solutions require foresight and intelligence, attributes forever in short supply. Progress is only possible when unsophisticated people work very hard on personal dreams in a cooperative society. Modernity is littered with educated slackers and greedy loners reacting to a dystopian plight. The medical adage of "do no harm but neglect no need" applies to every relationship, especially leadership.

In you can believe generalities and rankings, Forbes lists Rhode Island as the 8th worst place to make a living despite top 10 for livability. Sure, if you’ve got deep pockets and never need to work, buy a capitol city townhouse and lounge around aimlessly. Employers here sustain less than half of Rhode Island's residents. A disproportionate number of jobs are minimum wage and part time. One in six is illiterate in any language. About the same percentage has already retired. About 15% work in neighboring states. Economic development, though paid millions to a private organization in recent decades, has mostly been neglected for a half century. Despite efforts to improve Providence, most of Little Rhody decayed and shrank, in particular Pawtucket, West Warwick and Woonsocket. Census in 2010 revealed a 10% exodus with people leaving for opportunities elsewhere.

Shortly after land was granted to Roger Williams to establish these so-called plantations, his associate William Coddington, revered for founding Portsmouth then Newport, tried to sell it back to Massachusetts Bay Colony. Maybe Coddington was onto something. When a state is too small to exist on its own, annexing it cures many ills at once. Importantly, it sweeps away bad governance and patronage jobs. For what seems forever, state has been state’s biggest employer. Those currently holding elected office will speak eloquently for independence and pride of place, yet won’t ever deliver on promises for an unemployment percentage below 35%. Laughably,they boast it's below 6% based on new UI claims from thousands who exhausted eligibility. Furthermore, they entice unskilled immigrants and newcomers with benefits by taking them away from long time residents who established them through blood and sweat. Handouts and privileges cost someone, usually those hanging on by their fingernails.

Centuries before mills dotted adjacent villages, each a small fiefdom run by Anthonys, Browns, Knights, Slaters, Spragues, and such ambitious capitalists. Hardscrabble farmers and hungry immigrants flocked to mills for the promise of survival for which they traded backbreaking labor during 7-day workweeks. But geopolitical catastrophes, including Civil War and WWI, shuffled places where work could be done profitably. Unprepared to remake themselves to meet changing needs, owners closed shops. Well healed already, what did they care? Their patriarchal attitudes toward workers also led to devastating strikes, which further bolstered competition elsewhere. This remains one of the biggest risks facing business developers. It’s not that needs don’t exist for which manufacturers provide answers. It’s that getting humans to interact is fraught with abject failures and inappropriate responses. But it's sinful not to try. History proves that populations are best sustained by agriculture, manufacturing and mining. RI's decline is directly linked to destroying these 3 core industries that create all wealth and embracing "clean" finance institutions (banking, insurance) which contribute no profits and only count proceeds. One might argue Rhode Island lost resolve to sustain profitable enterprise long ago: factories relocated overseas, farms became golf courses and tract developments, and mines were emptied.

Today you can't visit any village without dozens of empty storefronts and fading FOR SALE signs. Antique retailers, bike recyclers, and dingy diners (folks still need to eat) are about all that's left. The wages of sin are distrust, reluctance, suffering, and this vicious downward spiral. Burnt so many times by business and governance, citizens find it nearly impossible to get enthusiastic and rally loyally. This is when dictators and theocrats appear and seize power. Conservative and religious hate has become planet's greatest threat. You never know just how bad things can get until you stop caring for equality and freedom. The sleep of reason produces monsters.

Famous For What?

As this blog is shaping up as a series of lists, followed through with another describing what Rhode Island is best known for:

Cabinets & Grinders: Not at all what you think, they mean something different to locals than power tools or wooden caseworks. "Cabinets" describe milkshakes (often coffee ice cream, syrup and milk, always blended), whereas grinders are elongated sandwiches, otherwise known as “submarines”, subs for short. During last century Italian immigrants set up shops near shipyards and assembled these torpedo shaped lunches. They called shipbuilders who ground rivets “grinders”, and somehow the name transferred to the sandwiches with which they stuffed their faces, though some argue teeth needed to eat these chewy monsters had to be the real grinders, thus the name. Lexicographers also dispute the origin of cabinet; some say it had to do with the blender being stored in a wooden cabinet at pharmacy’s fountain. But it could be a bastardization of the word “carbonate”. Rhode Islanders speak in an odd dialect, a cross between Boston and Brooklyn, that confuses an “r” with an “ah” sound and vice versa; for example, chowder, a kind of soup, is pronounced “chowdah”, whereas idea is “ideer”. So ordering an ice cream soda may have sounded like “cahbinat”. Speaking of ships, Narragansett Bay and Rhode Island Sound reputably have more wrecks per square mile than anywhere on either coast. During WWII, Kaiser Shipyards in Fields Point hung massive signs that read, “On to Nippon”. Ironically, by the 1970’s, Field’s Point became a major port for unloading cars imported from Germany and Japan. Maybe that’s why the generation before held onto gruesome August holiday Victory (VJ) Day, only celebrated here, which commemorates ending war with Japan by the nuclear destruction of Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

Celebrities - Actors, authors, composers, filmmakers, rock stars, and sports people have prowled its streets for centuries. Ghosts of H. P. Lovecraft and Edgar Allen Poe haunt Providence’s East Side to tunes by George M. Cohan, Nico Muhly, and Talking Heads. Dozens of movies have been made here. Offspring of A-listers attend area colleges. Venues for MLB, MLS, NBA, NFL and NHL franchises and several farm teams are all within 50 miles. Yet it’s no match for New York, where such sightings are commonplace. And residents can’t claim any credit or glory by mere association.

Firsts - Given its diminutive size, you’d think staying ahead of the curve would be easy: fewer to convince and lower costs to implement. Rhode Island was first to declare independence from and strike a blow against British rule, but last to join other 12 colonies to form The United States. It was, however, the first to ban slave trade at which it formerly excelled. The Blackstone Canal was North America’s inaugural civil engineering project, though the Viking Tower in Newport is believed to be its oldest structure (est., 1120 A.D.). US-1 runs right though, built atop the Boston to New York Highway, nation’s original Post Road. Even older is Great Road, RI’s first, begun in 1683, where Arnold House (stone ender shown in pretty autumn colors increasingly harder to find) can be counted among RI’s half dozen 17th Century homes still standing having survived over 3 centuries of fires and wars. Now that's remarkable; despite modern restoration, they make history palpable along with other architecture from every era.

The industrial revolution started here with Slater’s cotton mill powered by waterwheels in the mighty Blackstone River. Before anywhere else in America, RI judge Darius Baker jailed a motorist for speeding recklessly at 15 mph. Nation's first golf open, jazz festival, lawn tennis tournament, and outdoor polo match were held in RI. United Nuclear in Richmond was the only place in America where a nuclear explosion occurred outside a controlled environment. Adjacent Massachusetts recently garnered firsts for permitting same sex marriages, something Rhode Island’s catholic majority will forever condemn, and providing state sponsored health insurance, which Rhode Island left to abundant insurers once Obama signed it into federal law. Healthcare had already been its fastest growing business sector, rivaling finance, still number one, home to banks and brokerages. Some federal pilot programs were also tried, though nobody seems to remember them. Rhody has yet another chance to be first, to complete its leg of the East Coast Greenway System from Florida to Maine before any other state; only a few miles remain, but will is weak to designate a corridor through Pawtucket and Providence, or link Coventry and Woonsocket to adjacent states, even though ECGS has proven indispensable to commuters. “Hope” heads list as USA's shortest state motto, and "Rhode Island and Providence Plantations" its longest, most controversial name.

Food - Culinary schools, hospitality industry, and resultant restaurants rely mostly on meats and produce provided from elsewhere, though champion pumpkins up to a ton are still grown. Only several dozen dairies, farms, orchards, and ranches remain, and they sell out all too soon. Farm-to-table initiatives and outdoor markets are nevertheless afoot, but drawn as much from CT and MA stock. Coffee milk was made its official drink in 1993, but only 1 local craft roaster makes a caffeine free syrup, and “plantations” never grew coffee beans. Rhode Island does have a greater concentration of colleges within a one hour drive than anywhere in nation, yet illiteracy hovers around 17%, among the nation’s worst, because politicians “import” unschooled Third Worlders, presumably for federal grants and minimum wage servitude.

Huge, interminable, wasteful projects - Over the course of a half century, expensive highway constructions chewed through state revenues like locusts across arid farmlands. First it was the small Greenwood Bridge over AMTRAK, which, for some inexplicable reason, took more than a decade to repair. Similarly, the Cranston Street underpass, but that was tied to Route 10 beltway improvements, which also took nearly a decade and yet seem incomplete. The so-called Q-way between RI-4 and Quonset began as a link from I-95 to a proposed container port, but design flaws meant all overpasses had to be raised for containers to pass beneath. In the end, the 2.5 mile stretch cost more than a quarter of a billion, 10 times more than the national average per highway mile. Meanwhile, a single mile of I-way across the Providence River cost 3 times as much. Similar figures for I-95 bridges across Blackstone River in Pawtucket didn’t deter in the least starting the Viaduct Project, RIDOT’s biggest boondoggle yet. Because they failed to keep up bridge cleaning and painting for decades, those existing deteriorated into a $1 billion unfunded snafu. All key RIDOT officials have been fired and positions are being refilled. Then there were civic and convention centers, sports stadiums, sweetheart deals for business startups, and such assaults on public trust. Taxpayers will be repaying for generations to come.

Jewelry & Sliverware - Indeed, there are 1,000 factories still in existence churning out baubles, bijoux, costume trinkets and toys, but silverware is long gone. Gorham, who fabricated the America’s Cup and served as foundry for 700 notable statues across the continent, may still be in business as a subsidiary of Lennox, but products are manufactured or sourced elsewhere. Empty mills being renovated into retirement living is more typical.

Obscure directions - If asked, long time residents will give you directions based on landmarks that may no longer exist, for example, “Turn past where Almacs used to be.” Luckily, cell towers are plentiful, so mapping via GPS obviates the need to ask the hostile, ignorant or senile.

Political corruption - For decades Federal Hill was the epicenter of New England mob activity. Dozens of lawmakers and at least one mayor have gone to prison because of what they did in office, not just general crimes. However, some endured terms despite miscarriages of justice; locals joke about buying judges. It took citizen advocacy groups like Common Cause to investigate and uncover. Gina Raimondo (shown, left center), one of only six women in the country currently serving as governor, made an unprecedented attempt to end excess pension entitlements and reign in costs. Kleptocracy and the rule by thieves have consequently slowed, though not yet altogether gone. Assets spirited away in a Winnebago could be recovered, but to what end?

Potholes & Road Rage: Boats unload onto train cars. Both construction and neglect impair flow. Highway planners add lanes and eschew tolls. Towns put red lights and stop signs at every intersection after numerous accidents. Truck dispatchers plot cheapest/shortest routes. What results is an interwoven knot, a traffic nexus, that beats alternately baked and frozen pavement to rubble and regularly forces vehicles to slow or stop. Expect to see drivers rolling well below speed limit in left lane, since it may be the only one passable given abundance of damage in lanes most used. This encourages passing on right, a proven hazard that catches blind spot and causes cutoffs. Add rubbernecking tourists who don’t know where to turn and residents who only use interstates to go the few miles between malls, it’s no wonder impatience mounts and vehicles reach turnpike speeds on the few remaining secondaries which resemble phony TV car ads. Some find it faster to bike around during rush hours. Maybe all this keeps housing costs reasonable compared to states adjacent. It often takes an hour on interstate to go the few miles from Attleboro line to Providence or Seekonk line to Washington Bridge. The knot tightens upon Nibbles Woodaway, the World’s biggest bug, and The Vortex, a sci-fi auto zone made real that eats space and time.

Tourism - In the gilded age of robber barons, they built in Newport a bunch of gaudy “cottages” (really rivaling European castles). Once they came under control of a trust, visitors were allowed to enter and gawk. Long ago the state’s capital during its slave trade days, eateries sprung up along Thames Street among Newport's wharves. Airport expansion in Warwick, bridges replacing ferries, legalized gambling at Jai Alai fronton, later Newport Grand casino, and presence of a naval base resulted in Newport becoming one of the nation’s top ten destinations. Rest of state has little to offer apart from bikeways, parks, and perhaps small pockets of charming quaintness, such as Bristol and Wickford, amidst urban blight, waste treatment plants, and working ports. You’d never guess there are over a thousand practicing professional artists, six hundred squeezed in ghost town Pawtucket, because even RISCA holds artists in contempt. A Percent for Art Law exists, whereby 1% of any government project is supposed to be set aside for art adornment, but only 0.01% has actually been allocated since enacted in 1980’s. Almost every installation was awarded to insiders and resulted in controversy, such as birdsong at Kent Courthouse and fine mist at Sundlun Airport Terminal. Even traditional realist bronzes get besmirched by blood, as was Christopher Columbus, heroic explorer and imagined villain. Nevertheless, visitors throng to Waterfire (shown), a tribal celebration along Providence's renovated riverfront, where scores of bonfires are lit in braziers standing above the flow for a delightful but temporary effect, while both live and recorded music blares and buskers and hawkers bust butts for a buck.

Units of Measure: Hardly a day goes by when someone isn't foolishly comparing size of Rhode Island to some other area: Asteroids, bigger cities in other states, regions on remote planets, and whatnot. Some wag combined micron, a basic unit of small measure, with “Rho Dialin”, how residents pronounce state’s name, and so coined the portmanteau “rhodialon” to indicate any vague area, roughly 1212 to 1776 square miles (3140 to 4600 square km), depending upon whether you include Narragansett Bay, which bisects state into so-called East and West Bay. In fairness, since residents designate a loosely defined South County area, there could also be a North Bay section from Providence to Woonsocket, but, obviously, that would seem too sensible, so will never happen. Providence is too high and mighty to get lumped into the likes of “the Bucket” Pawtucket, Lincoln, or “Loony Woonie” Woonsocket, all arguably better places to live despite hype.